A few things Im thankful for..

We have had a rough 2 weeks in the Lamoureux house. Our new little guy Greyson has Colic and let me tell you if having a newborn wasn't exhausting enough, a newborn with colic is just beyond exhausting. The past few weeks have been trial and error with trying to find out what works for him and what is going to help him. He also has reflux, so he is on Zantac which seems to be helping a lot but he still has to sleep propped up and be in an upright position especially after meals. I felt really frustrated by the fact that he was gassy because I was breastfeeding. I think in my head I just had this picture perfect image of breastfed babies as happy, full, non gassy, healthy little tykes and boy was I wrong. I even asked the doctor "Im breastfeeding why is he gassy? what am i doing wrong" (moms always feel guilty and blame themselves). The doctor said you're not doing anything wrong but you are probably overfeeding him which is making him more gassy =( So i worked really hard at making sure he wasn't getting too much fore-milk and enough hind-milk, and then i went to pumping during the day so i knew i wasn't overfeeding him and we did mylicon drops and everything under the sun and I still had a colicky baby and it was getting progressively worse. 

Well a colicky baby is one thing but a colicky baby with an out of control two year old to take care of also is another!! Poor Brantley is having a hard time adjusting to his new brother. He loves him but he does not love all the attention and care that Greyson needs. So needless to say Im dealing with temper tantrums, mischievous acts(baby powder on the floor, vaseline on the couch, red nail polish all over the bathroom,etc.), potty accidents and lots of whining. This was really hard for me and still is because again mommies feel guilty all the time!! and in the midst of Greyson screaming for hours on end and Brantley whining and telling me I'm mean because I couldn't play trains at that moment because his brother is screaming the house down, I found myself longing for the days when it was just me and my sweet little 18 month old Brantley playing on the porch... and then of course that feeling was quickly replaced by another of guilt for wishing it was just me and Brant and not Greyson too (boy being a mother is a hard). 

Sooo after all that I surrendered in defeat and switched Greyson to formula because I was about to lose my ever loving mind. My whole day was pump milk, feed baby bottle of milk, change baby, play with Brantley and somehow find time to eat and brush my teeth. I could slowly feel myself sinking into the baby blues and I didn't want it to get any worse. So i weaned the baby onto similac formula for fussiness and gas. Well if breast milk and a gassy baby don't agree, formula and a gassy baby most definitely do not agree. So then we tried enfamil gentlease, yeah he wouldn't even try it, then good start gentle and he liked it!! but one problem his tummy didn't like it so much and his fussiness was increasing. So after long consideration I made the switch to Nutramigen (really expensive easy to digest formula). well what do you know it worked like a charm. I had never felt so relieved in my life!

Well it worked and is still working. He had a really bad two days wednesday and thursday but he's fine again today which is great!! but boy were those two days hard ( I mean every day is hard with 2 little ones but those 2 took the cake). I found myself crying and wallowing in self pity yesterday, so today I feel the need to write some things I'm thankful for which I probably should have done yesterday while I was wallowing in sorrow lol...

1. The baby swing- yes I have a swing sleeper and yes I'll pay it for it later but right now it allows me and Greyson to get some sleep haha.

2. Nutramigen- it is expensive as all get out but oh boy am i thankful for it!

3. Dr. Hardin- who always calls me back and answers all my stupid, paranoid mothering questions so graciously and always encourages me Im doing the right thing. I love him!

4. My husband- who should be really in the number one spot because he is a gem! he has been waking up with the baby the past few nights to let me rest because our days have been so tough and he is just such a help to me, I really couldn't be a mother without him =)

5. Family- who help out by picking up cam from school, entertaining Brantley or just by encouraging me =)

6. Facebook- it may seem trivial but when you are a stay at home mom and recovering from a c-section with two littles, it is sometimes the only contact you have with someone over the age of 2 all day long! lol

7. Grace- This is certainly not least, as these are not listed in order of importance. but Grace Grace Grace Grace GRace. that is my life motto "but grace.." The Lord gives me grace daily just to make it through the day and I am ever thankful for it.

8. Coffee- Im not a coffee drinker unless it's white mochas from Starbucks but let me tell you I have become a coffee drinker!!

9. Showers- sometimes it's the only me time I get. I just stand in peace and quiet for several minutes before I even begin to think about washing the spit up and food out of my hair ;)

10. My precious babies- they may wear me out and make my cry but I love them so much my heart could explode. I love My rambunctious, mischievous, independent, strong willed, brave, tough, little Brantley and I love my sweet, snuggly, colicky, swing sleeping little Greyson more than life itself. 

I am forever thankful to Jesus for trusting me with these blessings. Sometimes it's hard to think of them that way when they're screaming and throwing food all over the floor lol, but they are my greatest joys and blessings in life and I pray that the Lord teaches me how to be as loving, gracious and merciful as He is to me with my boys. 

-Diane