Life is so fast...

It's been really hard for me to keep up with my blog. When I was pregnant i couldn't even look at the computer without getting nauseous and now that Greyson is here I never have time lol. My thought today and this week is that life is so fast. I feel like It was just yesterday that I was 17 and being dropped off at Southeastern ready to start my life and now I'm 25 years old and married with two boys. I can't believe that 8 years of my life has passed. That is almost a whole decade and I can't even remember half of it lol. It really challenges me to make the next eight years of my life count. I had some great moments these past eight years like getting married and having my boys but I didn't really do much for Jesus and that makes me sad. When I was 17 I had these huge dreams of starting a missions organization and reaching America and the rest of the world for Christ. I had an action plan and I didn't follow it. Now that Im a mom Im not quite sure how to execute my dream of missions with being a mother. Being a mother is the most important thing in the world to me but I also know that I have a passion and a desire to bring Christ to the nations... So in the next season I will be spending some serious time in prayer asking the Lord to show me what I can do for Him and how I can incorporate my desire to do ministry with my responsibility of motherhood... Join me in prayer sweet friends =)

-Diane

A few things Im thankful for..

We have had a rough 2 weeks in the Lamoureux house. Our new little guy Greyson has Colic and let me tell you if having a newborn wasn't exhausting enough, a newborn with colic is just beyond exhausting. The past few weeks have been trial and error with trying to find out what works for him and what is going to help him. He also has reflux, so he is on Zantac which seems to be helping a lot but he still has to sleep propped up and be in an upright position especially after meals. I felt really frustrated by the fact that he was gassy because I was breastfeeding. I think in my head I just had this picture perfect image of breastfed babies as happy, full, non gassy, healthy little tykes and boy was I wrong. I even asked the doctor "Im breastfeeding why is he gassy? what am i doing wrong" (moms always feel guilty and blame themselves). The doctor said you're not doing anything wrong but you are probably overfeeding him which is making him more gassy =( So i worked really hard at making sure he wasn't getting too much fore-milk and enough hind-milk, and then i went to pumping during the day so i knew i wasn't overfeeding him and we did mylicon drops and everything under the sun and I still had a colicky baby and it was getting progressively worse. 

Well a colicky baby is one thing but a colicky baby with an out of control two year old to take care of also is another!! Poor Brantley is having a hard time adjusting to his new brother. He loves him but he does not love all the attention and care that Greyson needs. So needless to say Im dealing with temper tantrums, mischievous acts(baby powder on the floor, vaseline on the couch, red nail polish all over the bathroom,etc.), potty accidents and lots of whining. This was really hard for me and still is because again mommies feel guilty all the time!! and in the midst of Greyson screaming for hours on end and Brantley whining and telling me I'm mean because I couldn't play trains at that moment because his brother is screaming the house down, I found myself longing for the days when it was just me and my sweet little 18 month old Brantley playing on the porch... and then of course that feeling was quickly replaced by another of guilt for wishing it was just me and Brant and not Greyson too (boy being a mother is a hard). 

Sooo after all that I surrendered in defeat and switched Greyson to formula because I was about to lose my ever loving mind. My whole day was pump milk, feed baby bottle of milk, change baby, play with Brantley and somehow find time to eat and brush my teeth. I could slowly feel myself sinking into the baby blues and I didn't want it to get any worse. So i weaned the baby onto similac formula for fussiness and gas. Well if breast milk and a gassy baby don't agree, formula and a gassy baby most definitely do not agree. So then we tried enfamil gentlease, yeah he wouldn't even try it, then good start gentle and he liked it!! but one problem his tummy didn't like it so much and his fussiness was increasing. So after long consideration I made the switch to Nutramigen (really expensive easy to digest formula). well what do you know it worked like a charm. I had never felt so relieved in my life!

Well it worked and is still working. He had a really bad two days wednesday and thursday but he's fine again today which is great!! but boy were those two days hard ( I mean every day is hard with 2 little ones but those 2 took the cake). I found myself crying and wallowing in self pity yesterday, so today I feel the need to write some things I'm thankful for which I probably should have done yesterday while I was wallowing in sorrow lol...

1. The baby swing- yes I have a swing sleeper and yes I'll pay it for it later but right now it allows me and Greyson to get some sleep haha.

2. Nutramigen- it is expensive as all get out but oh boy am i thankful for it!

3. Dr. Hardin- who always calls me back and answers all my stupid, paranoid mothering questions so graciously and always encourages me Im doing the right thing. I love him!

4. My husband- who should be really in the number one spot because he is a gem! he has been waking up with the baby the past few nights to let me rest because our days have been so tough and he is just such a help to me, I really couldn't be a mother without him =)

5. Family- who help out by picking up cam from school, entertaining Brantley or just by encouraging me =)

6. Facebook- it may seem trivial but when you are a stay at home mom and recovering from a c-section with two littles, it is sometimes the only contact you have with someone over the age of 2 all day long! lol

7. Grace- This is certainly not least, as these are not listed in order of importance. but Grace Grace Grace Grace GRace. that is my life motto "but grace.." The Lord gives me grace daily just to make it through the day and I am ever thankful for it.

8. Coffee- Im not a coffee drinker unless it's white mochas from Starbucks but let me tell you I have become a coffee drinker!!

9. Showers- sometimes it's the only me time I get. I just stand in peace and quiet for several minutes before I even begin to think about washing the spit up and food out of my hair ;)

10. My precious babies- they may wear me out and make my cry but I love them so much my heart could explode. I love My rambunctious, mischievous, independent, strong willed, brave, tough, little Brantley and I love my sweet, snuggly, colicky, swing sleeping little Greyson more than life itself. 

I am forever thankful to Jesus for trusting me with these blessings. Sometimes it's hard to think of them that way when they're screaming and throwing food all over the floor lol, but they are my greatest joys and blessings in life and I pray that the Lord teaches me how to be as loving, gracious and merciful as He is to me with my boys. 

-Diane

Im back with my birth story =)

well it has been a while since i wrote because I was completely consumed by my pregnancy. This may not sit well with some but it was one of the worst experiences of my life lol. Being nauseated and vomiting for 8 months absolutely s-u-c-k-s and it made me completely exhausted so I was more than happy for little Greyson to get here. I told Stephen I felt bad because I was more excited about not being sick anymore than Greyson arriving. It's terrible I know but that is just how terribly sick I felt. Anyway I wanted to write about my birth experience this time because God completely had His hand on and in everything from the beginning and it was amazing to see it come to pass. First while He didn't heal me of my hyperemesis he gave me the strength to endure it and He also answered my prayer that I would be off my zofran pump before delivery. It may have only been 4 days before but hey that was enough time for my belly to heal from all the welts and bruising so I was extremely thankful for that.

Now here is the big thing. This time around in the very beginning of my pregnancy i desperately wanted to have a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). I had to have a c section with Brant, it may have been able to be avoided had i educated myself more before his birth but I didn't and I'm ok with that. I educated myself this time around however and looked at all the VBAC statistics and research etc. Now the reason most doctors dont want to do them is because there is a 1% of uterine rupture and they basically have to have the OR prepped and ready to go during your whole labor so of course they dont want to be there the whole time. But I really wanted to do it so i talked to Dr Powers and he told me he doesn't do them and told me of his experience with uterine ruptures and why he doesn't do them which was understandable. Now i love Dr Powers and I respect him greatly which I why i chose him to be my OB but I still wasn't sure if I was going to VBAC which meant finding a new doctor or just go with the repeat c-section. So I prayed and prayed and prayed and didn't receive any solid answers, all I knew is that I didn't feel peace. Now I am a paranoid person and I was convinced that I would be in that 1% that would rupture because lets face it I dont have the best luck in the world when it comes to percentages haha (ie. 1% get hyperemesis, and 10% of that 1% have it the whole 9 months) So finally around 5 or 6 months pregnant I decided I didn't feel peace and I was just going to stay with Dr. Powers. So my prayer was this "Lord you know I desire to deliver normally without a c-section but you know what is best and safest for me and Greyson so let your will be done".

Well fast forward to 36 weeks pregnant and I begin contracting, sometimes for regular intervals but never close enough to go to the hospital, sometimes irregularly and with absolutely no dilation or effacement at all. I was really frustrated with the Lord and couldn't understand why i was contracting but not dilating because i really wanted to go into labor and just by some miracle be able to have a VBAC lol. So finally October 25th came which was the day of my scheduled c-section and I was extremely nervous because I didn't want to have one at all. I cried in the hospital a few times before being taken back and made Stephen pray continuously because I was so afraid of having the surgery again and the complications that could occur such as paralyzation from the spinal, scar tissue, hemorrhaging etc. (I'm paranoid I know). So Im sitting on the operating table shaking like crazy waiting for my spinal when I prayed Lord please help me calm down and I just felt so peaceful and stopped shaking long enough for them to give me my spinal. Now my nerves started again when the spinal didn't take right away and they had to give me more medicine. So I was now paranoid for the whole surgery that I would feel pain and I could feel everything they were doing just without pain and that really freaked me out. So Dr. Powers is doing the surgery and a few minutes in says "hmmm" which im sorry but that's not what you want to hear when your dr has just cut through your skin, abdomen and is about to cut your uterus lol. So the conversation went as follows:
me: what, whats the matter oh my God.
Dr Powers: Have you been contracting?
me: irregularly for 3 weeks why what is wrong?
Dr. Powers: well nothings wrong its just that your uterus is so thin i can see the baby right through it he has a whole head of hair.
Me: Am I ok? I mean is that ok>
Dr. Powers: Well it;'s ok bc youre having a c section
Me: So VBAC wouldn't have been a good choice?
Dr. Powers: Umm no you would have ruptured, this is why I dont do VBACS

So the Lord knew what kind of shape my uterus was in and that is why he didn't allow me to go into labor. I didn't understand at the time but now I do and I am so thankful that I chose not to VBAC. Now dont get me wrong I think VBAC Is an awesome thing and I think the women who go through it have tremendous courage. However it was not the right choice for me and I never thought i would ever say I was glad that I had a c section but I truly am. I am thankful that we have doctors who can perform that surgery because who knows what could have happend. I could have VBAC'd and been fine, or I could not have been. I could have lost my ability to have more children, I could have died or Greyson could have. My uterus was in that 1% that would have ruptured and I am thankful that the Lord protected me from that. I am thankful for my doctor, my birth experience and my precious little reward Greyson Phillip Grant Lamoureux.

Day 2 and 3: Having a Martha House with a Mary Attitude.

Well as I mentioned in my first post I am the queen of procrastination and I believe it has been almost two weeks since I started Day 1 lol. However in my defense we were in St. Augustine for a few days for vacation and then I got a cold soooo now that I'm done with all my excuses I finally got to day 2 and 3. Yay!!! I started Day 2 on Monday and was actually really motivated by it...
Day 2 began with the topic of being a life-giver. God created women to be life givers.. Even the first woman was named Eve because it meant "life". God created us with purpose and that purpose is to bring life and give life to everything we do. The book defines life-giving as raising life above the level of mere existence. What an honor given to us by the Lord that it is our responsibility as women and nurturers of the home to raise our families lives above a level of mere existence. We are to encourage and empower our husbands and children and make our homes a calm and loving environment where they can truly thrive on life. It was so funny that I sat down to write my blog today (or actually last night now) because in my daily devotions I just started Galatians and today I read in Galatians 2:20 "I have been crucified with Christ, It is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me".  I want to bring life into my home the way that Christ has raised life in me. He loved me and gave himself for me. He died so that I might live. Now im not saying I want to die here lol but I do want to love my family and give of my time, my love, my actions so that I may raise life in them and make my home an environment that flourishes.

Day 2 Mary Challenge: How can you bring life to your home and family?

I personally feel that I can bring life to my husband by speaking encouraging words to him and praying for him as he goes to work to provide for us. I am so thankful that I have a husband who works very hard to provide so that I can stay home and be with my son. I am thankful that he understands the importance of my role in the home. I know not everyone can afford to do this and it makes me all the more grateful that we were able to work it out. So I want to work on being more appreciative and encouraging to Stephen for everything he does. With Brantley I think I can bring life into my home playing with him and teaching him things. If I stay on top on my schedule with cleaning and school then I can make time to play with him and teach him new things not just educationally but spiritually as well. So then I started thinking well not only how can I bring life to my family members but how can I bring it to my actual physical home, sooo I decided to decorate my dining room table with none other than bright colors and daises! as Meg Ryan says "they are the friendliest flower" and they also so happen to be my favorite. Anyway it really brightened up my living/dining room and made me feel like I'm starting to get this homemaking stuff down lol.

Martha Challenge: Clean out your fridge and freezer. Well my wonderful hubby did that not so long ago so I decided it didn't really need it and traded it for cleaning all my stainless steel appliances with special cleaner (I even cleaned the sink). They looked almost brand new when i was done and I should definitely do that more often. You dont realize how many water spots are on your appliances until you're down there with a rag cleaning lol.

Day 3: August 17th. "Ways to give life to your Home"
This chapter was pretty much a continuation of day 2 but it gave specific examples on how to bring life to your home spiritually and physically. There were three that really stuck out to me. 1.) Making my home a place where mistakes are met with grace and love not anger and frustration. I think this is sometimes hard for moms because we're here all day with the kids and sometimes your patience is just gone and you can react to things in anger instead of showing grace and saying "honey its ok that you spilled your drink, lets clean it up together and next time be a little more careful". I'm really working on this and am praying for the Lord to help me show grace as He has shown me the ultimate grace. 2.) Being an encourager (is that a word?) to my family. Lifting them up in praise and being their cheerleader basically. Im working on it that's all I say about that lol. 3.) Playing worship music in my home throughout the day. When I first read this I was like hmmm that's a thought and the author stated how even King Saul was comforted by David's worship when the spirit had left him and how playing worship music in your home throughout the day can create a calming environment for everyone. So I played it this morning while i was doing the dishes and while we were eating breakfast and it was nice. I was so busy singing along that I felt like I was done with the dishes in two minutes lol.

Mary Challenge: Ask your family members what makes them feel the most loved in caring for your home?

Well Brantley can't really tell me because he's two but I think I could figure his out lol and it's probably playing with him. So my challenge to myself for him is to stay on top of everything else in my schedule so that during the day I have a lot of time to spend playing with him. Now Stephen he can talk haha and boy did he talk. I was almost sorry I asked. No no no I'm just kidding. My husband basically said that when he comes from work and the house is clean (not perfect but picked up and livable) and either dinner is cooking or I at least know what we're doing for dinner, it takes a lot of pressure of him because he can come home and relax after working all day instead of jumping right into cleaning and cooking too. He also said it makes him feel like I care about our home and take pride in what we worked so hard to buy. He also said even more important than a clean house would be my attitude lol. Now this is where I wish he would have stopped hahahaha but I needed to hear it. He said he loves the days when he comes home and I'm not stressed out and in a good mood and happy to see him just because I missed him not because "thank God you're home, here's Brantley, I am checking out for the night, your turn". lol I had to laugh because I am so guilty of that and I understand there are going to be days that Im stressed and I do need that but the purpose of Stephen's comment was to bring it to my attention that it is something I need to work on and manage so that I am only having those days every once in a while and not every day. So I am purposing to not be stressed and to love as the Lord loves and cast all my cares on Him.

Martha Challenge: Dust the tops of your cabinets in the kitchen and wipe down all the kitchen cabinets and shine the handles on them.

Well this prego was not about to climb up on the counter or a ladder and dust the tops of the cabinets but I did wipe down the kitchen cabinets and shine the knobs. Let me tell you kitchen cabinets get dirty especially by the stove and the sink. Wiping them down regularly for some reason is not something I think about when Im cleaning my kitchen daily. I do my counters, stove, sink, dishes everything else but forget about my cabinets... so my new challenge for myself is to daily wipe the bottom cabinets as I clean the kitchen after dinner because there was more dirt on there than I expected.

So that was day 2 and day 3 which I did August 15 and 17th and I am just now writing the blog on the 18th lol. So bear with  me as my little exhausted prego self does this challenge. Im skipping it today and will pick it up again tomorrow so be prepared for another blog this weekend. I hope Im not boring you too much with all my imperfections and stories of dirty cabinets haha.

Diane

"31 Days to Clean: Having a Martha House the Mary Way" - Day 1

I just started this book today and decided I would blog my way through it. Let me first start by saying that homemaking is a challenge for me (I am a messy person). I think homemaking is a challenge for me because I struggle with self-discipline in every aspect of my life. I am the person that starts working out and does it for 2 weeks and quits, or starts a bible reading plan and completes 4 days of it before I'm back to sporadic reading at sporadic times. It's an awful issue that the Lord is working out in me and this issue really affects my home making. I will get my whole house organized and even make lists of certain rooms and certain tasks i'm going to do every day and well I do it for about a week and quit. Now I know I'm pregnant and sick and haven't been doing much of anything but this goes back to before pregnancy lol. So I found this book and after reading a ton of reviews on it I decided it would be something good for me to read. I am really going to try to do the book in 31 days like it says and not let my lack of self discipline overtake this as well lol so maybe keeping this blog will be good accountability for me. However I am still battling my hyperemesis and potty training a 2 yr old so I'm not going to stress if I miss a day and have to pick up the next day. My prayer is that God would change my attitude about homemaking and help me to see it as a ministry to my family and as something that brings glory to his name...
So Day 1 has two challenges a Mary challenge and a Martha challenge.
The Mary challenge was to figure out  your personal reasons for wanting to make your house a haven. Why do you personally want your house to be clean? apart from obvious reasons such as health and safety issues. So I read this challenge this morning and thought on it all day. The main reason I want my house to be clean is so that it is a calm, relaxing and inviting environment for myself and my family. My family has a hectic schedule. Stephen works pretty much 6 days a week, I am 7 months pregnant with hyperemesis taking care of a very rambunctious toddler daily and a high maintenance 8 yr old every other week and attending college. So a lot of times our life is just hectic. It's very unorganized and my home making falls right in line with that. I think it's kind of a vicious cycle, my house looks chaotic and unorganized because my life is and then sometimes I feel like if my house was more organized I could eliminate some of the chaos that ensues. So my main personal motivation is to stay on top of my homemaking so that our house can be a peaceful, relaxing place in the midst of a busy schedule

The Martha challenge was to make a list of the supplies you'll need to finish all the Martha challenges in the book and considering I have every cleaning supply known to man I didn't need to do that lol.

So this book is definitely going to be a challenge for me but I am praying that God will change my attitude and teach me some discipline through it. So pray for me and my homemaking skills (or lack thereof lol).
 Until tomorrow, hopefully if I don't procrastinate ;)

Diane

Happy Father's Day

Father's Day is this Sunday and I love it because it's one of the only days my husband will actually let me spend money on him and I love to spend money. Haha well I do love to spend money but I also love the fact that we get to do something special for him, because he is the best father I know. The one thing that I love about him is that he looks to the Word of God for guidance and examples of how a godly father should act. What better example to follow than our Father who loves us so unconditionally? My husband is not just one of those dads that goes to work, comes home, goes in his man cave and does his own thing. He comes home, hugs and kisses everyone and then does whatever he can to help. Sometimes it's cooking dinner so I can rest (bc of all my sickness and sometimes just for the simple fact that he cooks better than me lol) or he heads straight into the kids' rooms or outside to play with them. My kids aren't shocked if their dad actually sits down to play with them, they are shocked if he does something other than spend time with them. He doesn't do it because he has to but because he wants to. He wants to spend time with them, play with them, talk to them about their day and enjoy their laughter. There are no kids in the world more excited than cameron and brantley when they hear the car door shut outside our house at 5:30 pm. Half of the time they are out the door and in the driveway before Steve can get out of the car. They love their daddy because he loves them. He not only tells them he loves them, he hugs them, kisses them, plays with them, spends time with them, disciplines them and reads God's word and prays with them. He is not the parent who says "because I said so" when Cameron asks why she cant do something. He is the dad that opens up the word of God and says let me show you why you can't do that. He talks to her about it and explains it so that she understand his reasons. Does he have to do that? No. Does he owe her an explanation for any of the rules he makes as a parent? No. However he respects his children as well as loving them and wants them to understand that just as he is their authority, he also has to submit to an authority, the Word of God. The Word is our authority on everything we do from our speech, to our marriages and yes even parenting. 

So Happy Father's Day to the best father I know. You are amazing and I couldn't have asked for a better dad for my kids. There are so many kids who don't have dads or have dads that aren't actively involved and our kids are so beyond blessed to have you. It's so easy for them to be happy children when they have a great dad like you! I love you babe and you are the world's greatest dad =)

                              I couldn't find a pic of you and the kids bc you're the one who is 

                              always taking the pictures lol. But here we are happy as can be

                                                            to have you in our lives!!!! =)

Boo Hyperemesis!!!!

Well i talked to my nurse over the weekend to see how much longer I'll be on this stinking zofran pump and it doesn't look like i'll be getting off anytime soon. I've only gained 4 pounds and I'm 19 weeks which is not good and even though I'm eating and drinking its still not enough and I'm still getting nausea. So needless to say I am one frustrated mama. It is hotter than hades and I can only get in a pool for 1 hour bc I have to take my IV thing out and I can't put it back in by myself. BOO!! So there goes my summer :( I am thankful that I feel well enough to take care of myself and brantley but it's so frustrating to still be feeling sick and to still not be able to do some things. Argh!! So pray pray pray for me that my nausea leaves completely and that I gain weight (bet you never thought you'd hear any woman say that lol) so that I can be rid of this blasted pump and enjoy the summer with my baby boy (both of them for that matter ;)

Much love
D